I’m a good kid…promise

I think my relationship with my mother has been challenged since the say I was born.  Maybe before then actually.  We’ve always struggled and now that I am an adult I can choose how much contact I want to have with her finally.  If you knew all the details  you’d probably advocate for cutting her out or off entirely.  She’s real umm…interesting that’s for sure.  The dilemma though is I am a  Godly woman and want to do my best to love her the way He does…exactly where she is at.  This is not always easy because where she’s at is often results in her constant attempts to upset or aggravate me.  Often I’m aggravated after just a few minutes in her company; it’s sad really, but she just doesn’t play nice.  I’m not sure she ever has.  Even my son has asked me “what is wrong with your mother?”  She is though…still my mother.

Mother’s Day is coming and two of her favorite things are tulips and koala bears.  For Christmas we got her some koala granola bars and cereal.  I made her this card for Mother’s Day:

The card base is Core’dinations, as are the tulips and stems.  The koala is cut with a textured stack I got at Wal Mart…I want to say it is Colorbok but I’m not sure.  Pink feet on the koala is from my scraps and I have no clue about the origin.  The tulips were a free SVG file and the koala is from the Cuddly Animals Part II Collection from SVG Cuts.  They have some great stuff…I’ll be back later today or tomorrow with yet another SVG Cuts project.

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4 thoughts on “I’m a good kid…promise

  1. You as a christian woman…. forgiveness. Not knowing all the facts, but based on what you wrote… I know I feel the same about my father….and yet, I too, have forgiven him (to a point) but I have a long way to go. I too, as a christian woman have much to pray as well. Have you ever written her a letter?? I had do this one time. BUT all in all… what a cute card.

    • Thanks. I’ve written her numerous letters…so has my sister. She just doesn’t understand…maybe it’s that she really just doesn’t care I’m not sure. I’ve accepted our relationship is what it is, despite sometimes wishing it was different. I remember/acknowledge her birthday, Mothers Day, Christmas, etc, but I choose not to spend much time with her. It wounds my spirit too much.

  2. You are inspiring. I hope and pray that one day I can get to that point with my mom. I haven’t seen her but once in two years and I haven’t spoken to her at all since October 2009 and that call lasted about 30 seconds. When I saw my mom 6 months ago I had a migraine that lasted for a week leading up to it and about 3 days after. Once I finally journaled and “debriefed” myself on the happenings, my migraine let up. It’s a constant process of forgiving and letting it go. I had a friend of mine liken it to tossing a ball (my mom) up to God and then when it falls back down I catch it (or I take it from God) and then I have the choice to keep giving it back until one day I don’t want to play with that ball anymore. It was a good analogy I thought. My mom has chosen (or at least she feels like there isn’t a choice) to not have a relationship with me and that hurts. It is a daily struggle at times and some days are better than others. I only know bits of your story, but you sound like an amazing Godly woman who strives to live her life in God-honoring ways. Thank you for sharing.

    • Thank you for your kind words Amanda. Yes, it is a great analogy. I have some of her grandchildren though and I can’t or won’t cut her off and out entirely. It would be easier to just wash my hands of her, but I know that is NOT what the Lord would do. I am learning that loving her doesn’t mean I have to subject myself to heartache and anguish. I’ve learned that forgiveness doesn’t mandate I forget, and I’ve learned that hoping and wishing for things to be different doesn’t make them different. It takes a committed effort by both the involved parties and my mom is unwilling most of the time. I keep a comfortable distance most of the time, call her only when necessary, and pray for her. That’s all I can do.

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